October 15, 2004

Another New Scandal

from - smijer

Just when you thought the tempest over Mary Cheney's dirty gayness being publicly, professionally, and politically exploited by herself, the Coors Brewing Company*, her father**, John Edwards, John Kerry, and now even her own mother, was over, another scandals rises to the surface to take it's place. Perhaps Lynne Cheney reacted so vocally to charges that her daughter was a dirty*** lesbian because she knew this was coming and she hoped to draw attention away from the other skeleton in the Cheney's closet.

I know how Matt Drudge must feel when he is about to break news for the first time that a sleeping nation will soon be awake to, and repeat first in shocked whispers, then with a furiously building crescendo, will be outraged nationwide in a media storm full of sound and fury. For I am about to reveal to you another family secret of the Cheney's. Lynne Cheney is married to a dirty Republican. Rumor has it that she is a dirty Republican herself.

I hope that John Kerry will have the decency not to bring up in his campaign, that his opponent's VP candidate is a dirty Republican. He has already sullied the honor of the office of Candidate for President by mentioning his opponent's VP's daughter is a professional* dirty lesbian (who has been oddly quiet about dirty gay rights in a campaign year when her father is running on the ticket of the dirty Republican Party who hopes to extinguish any hopes in the dirty little hearts of dirty gay people everywhere that one day they will be entitled to full citizenship). So, enough, already. Show some taste. Show some respect for a family that doesn't want people to know about their dirty daughter, and her dirty gay ways... and try to keep a tight lip about her dirty father and his dirty Republican ways, too.

*Mary Cheney has worked in the past for Coors Brewing Co. in their public relations department as their liason to the dirty gay and lesbian community.
**Dick Cheney was the first to make his daughter's dirty gayness a campaign issue in his speech in Davenport, IA on August 24.
***Perhaps this comparison isn't quite fair. Many gays and lesbians somehow dont' consider themselves dirty. Surely all Republicans know in their heart of hearts that they are dirty through and through.

Update: It seems I may have accused John Kerry falsely in this post. It turns out that he doesn't remember saying anything about Mary Cheney. He is quoted as saying in response to the allegations that, "this is kind of like one of those ex-agg-erations." My apologies to the Senator.


Posted by smijer at October 15, 2004 07:56 AM
Comments for this entry are closed. Please leave your notes on a more recent comment thread.