Tête-a-Tête-Tête: Gonzales on Why It's Legal

January 25, 2006

I heard Alberto Gonzales on All Things Considered on my way home last night. Ever wonder why people think lawyers are sleazy? Spend a little time with Gonzales, & you'll see.

The argument was that :
a.) Congress had authorized force
b.) Force includes spying on the enemy
c.) The NSA selected only enemy targets to be spied upon
therefore
d.) It was legal.

When asked why the the FISA court was sidestepped, Gonzales became indignant. It isn't fair to say we sidestepped FISA... Our actions were consistent with FISA... (hmmmm? then why all the fuss?)

Of course item c.) above was precisely the purpose of the FISA court... to be sure the targets selected really were the enemy. But that little matter wasn't brought up.

And, of course, the conclusion d.) doesn't necessarily follow... Authorization to spy on the enemy, implicit as it may be in the authorization to use force, doesn't guarantee authorization to do so in a manner inconsistent with duly enacted legislation. The great Attorney Gonzales brilliantly proved that spying was legal.. I suppose from that we can deduce that no spying can ever be illegal, regardless of the manner in which it is done, or the laws that are meant to regulate it.

And you all already know all this... so just consider it a rant.

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Posted by smijer at January 25, 2006 07:54 AM

Comments

This may not be appropriate for this venue (if not, delete it with my apologies), but maybe Gonzales uses the same form of logic:

Two South Texas farmers, Jim and Bob, are sitting at their favorite bar, drinking beer. Jim turns to Bob and says, "You know, I'm tired of going through life without an education. Tomorrow I think I'll go to the community college and sign up for some classes."

Bob thinks it's a good idea, and the two leave.

The next day Jim goes down to the college and meets the dean of admissions, who signs him up for the four basic classes: math, English, history, and logic.

"Logic?" Jim says. "What's that?"

The dean says, "I'll show you. Do you own a weedeater?"

"Yeah."

"Then logically because you own a weedeater, I think that you would have a yard?"

"That's true, I do have a yard."

"I'm not done," the dean says. "Because you have a yard, I think logically that you would have a house."

"Yes, I do have a house."

"And because you have a house, I think that you might logically have a family."

"I have a family."

"I'm not done yet. Because you have a family, then logically you must have a wife."

"Yes, I do have a wife."

"And because you have a wife, then logically you must be a heterosexual."

"I am a heterosexual. That's amazing, you were able to find out all of that because I have a weedeater."

Excited to take the class now, Jim shakes the dean's hand and leaves to go meet Bob at the bar. He tells Bob about his classes, how he is
signed up for math, English, history, and logic.

"Logic?" Bob says, "What's that?"

Jim says, "I'll show you. Do you have a weedeater?"

"No."

"Then you're a queer."