Dick Cheney's hunting fiasco might have been avoided if he had followed a few simple rules. He followed many but not all of them, and look what happened. . .

1. Do be the Vice President of the United States. Not all of the rules that follow will work otherwise.

2. Don't have two drunk driving convictions in your youthful past. This will only raise unpleasant questions.

3. Don't have a drink with lunch before going out hunting.

4. Don't lose track of your hunting companions.

5. Don't fire your shotgun into the setting sun.

6. Don't--and this is an important point--don't shoot a 78 year old man in the face with your shotgun.

7. Do see to your companion's injuries if you have ignored Rule 6.

8. Don't have a cocktail after you get back to the house.

9. Don't tell anyone about the incident. If someone goes to the press and says that it's without your knowledge, contradict that person and say that it was all part of the plan.

10. Do talk to the police immediately, unless you have broken Rules 2, 3, and 8. If you have, skip to the next rule.

11. Don't talk to the police. Instead when they arrive, say that they should come back the next day. If they seem reluctant, tell them that you are the Vice President of the United States (see Rule 1).

12. Don't let police officers make fun of your fine $7500 Italian hunting piece. Some of your friends have single Italian shoes that cost more than that.

13. Don't hide like a rabbit after the incident. This will only cause more talk.

14. Do avoid any conversational topic that may lead to the observation that you will take over if anything happens to the President of the United States.