Continuing from before...

Post 16 from Mageth:

If you see a nuclear explosion, pull off the road and take some snapshots.

18, Mageth:

If you're a @#&! a radiation mutant with a deformed hand, remember to close the window. No one wants to see that @#&!.

19

Remember when the government couldn't access your personal information without a warrant? Well, no more, bucko.
Not bad prescience for February of 2003, huh?!

20, Mendicant

- In event of emergency, exit in every direction at once to confuse the enemy.

-- If you hear the Backstreet Boys, Michael Bolton or Yanni on the radio, cower in the corner or run like hell.

If your lungs and stomach start talking, stand with your arms akimbo until they stop.

21, ju'iblex... sorry - the image is lost.

Another prescient bit in 22, from Mecha_Dude:

Note: If you work for the FBI or CIA, put the paperwork that described the preceding attack weeks before it happened into a briefcase that looks like a first aid kit and run like hell

23, Sakpo:

Remain calm: Even in the event of a new wave of terror attacks Swatch (honory member of the New Europe) will continue to provide the American people with a wide selection of quality suitcases and travel bags.

A quick family snapshot in front of the latest scene of a terrorist attack may became a treasured family keepsake that will preserve precious memories for years to come.

Distance: The farther away you are from the radiation the lower your exposure. Who woulda thunk it?

A state of emergency and widespread panic is often a great chance to loot desirable consumer goods.

Hey, while you're at it, we need some new clocks.

"Wash your hands" of traditional long distance providers. Verizon has a new plan made specially for people like you.

24, The Lone Ranger:

The middle of a terrorist attack is not an appropriate time to catch up on your reading or paperwork.

In the event that terrorists remove your lungs and stomach, please remain calm.

If you actually need to be told that birds dropping out of the sky and fish going belly-up in the streams is a bad sign, then please remain right where you are. We don't need you taking up precious space in the shelters that could be occupied by people with functioning brains.

Unfortunately, a flashlight makes a very poor lightsabre.

Swinging it around and making "whoosing" sounds won't help.

No pyromaniacs admitted.