Five years ago, when we purchased the house we are now living in, I told my wife that this should be the last time we have to borrow any more money for anything. I told her that I was getting too damned old to keep stringing payments out for the benefit of the bankers.

This afternoon I will meet yet again with the bankers. With two weddings coming up within the next year and a half and a roof that desperately needs shingles not to mention two daughters still in college I had no choice but to suck a little equity out of the place in order to stay afloat.

I know we need a roof so I can accept that with dignity.

But Godamighty! Have any of ya’ll had to pay for weddings yet? I had no idea that the friggin’ flower and cake businesses were so lucrative. Now I understand the feelings of Mr. Banks when he said, “A cake, Franck, is made of flour and water. My first car didn't cost this much!”
I know that the amount one spends on a wedding should be considered discretionary but believe me with a wife and two daughters glaring at him a man would have to have the personality of Pol Pot to piss on that parade.

And after the girls are gone I am still going to have to live with their mother. I have accumulated enough stuff for her to throw up into my face over the last 25 years. I don’t need to add to that pile.

So this afternoon at about 3:00 PM I will limp, emasculated, into a room with moneylenders and legal experts. I will sign on countless dotted lines while everybody in the room, my wife included, smiles. Even I will put on my losers grin and shake hands with everyone when it is over and agree that borrowing money is a wonderful privilege.

And there is no way that I will even entertain the notion that this will be the last time it will ever happen.