April 17, 2005

Individuality?

We are so influenced by what we do, say, and believe. We are expected to act and believe a certain way by our church, by our spouses, and according to our profession. Other things influence as well, but these are the major ones. My question is what happens if they don't agree. Then to make matters worse...your own opinion differs as well!!

This is kind of the delimma that I am in lately. It kind of leaves me in a 'To post or not to post' kind of mode. If I post about something that I'm not passionate about...I feel like I am wasting my time. If I post about something that I 'am' passionate about...I'm going to be at odds with someone!! Usually it is my husband.

I don't want to argue with my husband for the obvious reasons. I don't want to disagree with the church for abvious reasons...and I'm not qualified yet to base decisions on anything to do with nursing. I can still offer my opinion in the transportation industry though. :o)

My husband and I have very differnt beliefs...yet similar..in a way. You kind of know what I mean if you read either of our blogs regularly. However, I can't help but feel that a storm is brewing. We are bound to get into a big one soon. It is inevitable. Our opinions are just opposite enough to cause friction and arguments and I feel that things may come to a head before long. Certain things have happened lately that can't keep occuring without causing problems.

Who would have thought that a Universalist Unitarian liberal atheist and a Church of God conservative Christian could co-exist as peaceably as we have for as long as we have? Sure, we have had our moments, but have come through with a great relationship all in all. Can we continue this way with little or no problems or is it bound to hit the proverbial fan?

Posted by Barbara at 10:05 PM | Comments (2)

April 11, 2005

Hallelujah!

I passed! Barely...but it works, right? :o)
I just thank the Lord!!

Posted by Barbara at 08:55 PM | Comments (2)

Holy Cow

Final Exam Today!!!

~~Pray for me~~

Posted by Barbara at 08:10 AM | Comments (0)

April 05, 2005

Anxiety

Now that we are a week before the final exam and I am, AS USUAL, hanging on by the edge of the seat of my pants.....we (the instructors and I) have figured out my problem. I have severe test anxiety. I knew that I had test anxiety. Doesn't everyone? I'm pretty sure that mine goes beyond the norm though.

I have a pattern of doing well on the first part of the test, then bombing the second half. I start feeling rushed with the time running out...even though I might only have half of the test left and still have half of the time left. I start worrying that I might get stuck on one or two then not have time to finish. Then I panic and can't concentrate...and have to read the question five times before it makes sense because I'm in a state of panic...then I lose more time...then become more panicked...and it snowballs. I've even been known to start crying and have to compose myself to finish the test. It's horrible! I'm not like that in other situations.

I did get like that once when an instructor was standing over me while I drew up IV push meds and had just fussed at me because I had not looked up the rate of administration the night before. Then she was telling me that I was going to have to get faster than that because I had a lot of work to do. I began shaking so violently that I thought that I'd drop the vial. It was nearly impossible to hold it still enough to draw the medication up at that point. I'm still not the speediest at drawing up medications but faster than I was then. I'm sure that is something that will develop as you do it over and over again, ya know?

Anyway, what can you do to combat test anxiety a week before the test? We have 100 questions and 2 hours. That sounds like a lot of time, but the questions are a half of a paragraph long and require a lot of thinking. If they'd just give me 30 more minutes! :o)

If you have any suggestions...they are welcome.

Posted by Barbara at 08:06 AM | Comments (0)