January 01, 2007

New Years Resolutions

Okay, I usually don't set New Year's resolutions, but this year I think I will. I make a list of things to do every day and it makes me work harder to get everything accomplished. If at the end of the day, something didn't get done, I move it to the next day's list. It works pretty well except for 'clean out the car' and 'mate the socks.' Those continuously get pushed from one day to the next. :o)
My goal this year is to set resolutions and set time limits. I am going to do what I can to accomplish them this year to try to have a much better year.
My first goal is to get our finances under control. I gave the bills to the better half while I was in nursing school and he is too wrapped up to keep up so I have taken them back over. I am setting goals for bills to be paid off by the month to get us in better shape.
My second goal is to get my son straightened out...help him pass the GED, get him into technical college, and get his medicines straightened out.
My third goal is to get the house back in order. Between nursing school and overtime, I have let things go and plan to make major repairs.
My fourth goal is to make money with my second job and earn my Mom that new car. (New mustang to be exact..she needs a new car.)
I plan to lose at least ten more pounds and be closer to my husband.
Those are my resolutions. :o)

Posted by Barbara at 09:21 PM | Comments (0)

May 08, 2005

Abuse-Who's Fault is it?

Several of my classmates and I were standing in line for graduation ceremonies and discussing the boy that was suspended for ten days for disobeying his teacher. He did not hang up on his mother in Iraq when told to..and he was talking to her during a time that was against the rules to do so. There were many different opinions. I can understand the vast number of opinions on this and see how each can be argued effectively from different viewpoints.

However, one person said that the kid should be shown no mercy for talking back and getting emotional with the teachers at all. This pushed me to point out how every person and every person's circumstances is different and that the boy may not have seen his mother for six months or talked to her for a month and had every reason to be emotional about having to hang up on her. (So many people are so quick to judge without giving it any thought at all!!) Then, he started saying things about kids needing to have control...because he did when he was growing up because his Dad made him walk a fine line. So I asked him about the kids that didn't have Dads and had crackhead moms or were abused by their parents, etc.

His reply left me momentarily speechless. (Now remember....this is a fellow NURSING graduate that is supposed to help these types of people!!) He said, "If they are being abused at home, then they should tell their teachers or authority figures. If they don't, then it is their own damn fault. It's just like the damn women that stay with a man that beats the shit out of her. She deserves it if she stays and puts up with it."

I became so angry that I saw stars and flashing lights. I remained calm and calmly asked him about what he had learned about the children protecting their abusers because it was all that they knew and that it was also their providers and the ones that kissed their boo boos and tucked them in at night. I asked him about the high statstics of murder of women that leave abusive husbands and about them being afraid and worried about what would happent to their children. He said, "That shouldn't matter! They should rather die than stay in that...and if they are dead, then they can't worry about it."

At this point, I became upset and more angry. I couldn't remain calm and not show emotion anymore. I tried...it just didn't work. I tried to tell him that he needed to try to look at things from a different perspective because he would not give good care to his patients or benefit them with an attitude like that. I asked him to educate himself some more on it. He informed me that he was educated plenty and that if I had persoanl issues with it, he didn't want to discuss it anymore. I told him that was fine, I didn't care to hear anymore of his uncaring comments either, but that I did want to say one more thing and plead with him to think about it and educate himself more on the subject so he could be a patient advocate when the situation arose because one out of every three women are abused.

An instructor told us that when we got into the field, we would find a hill that we would die on. I think that this will be mine. I am devastated that people have this attitude towards abuse, but am horrified that a fellow nursing graduate is so shallow.

Posted by Barbara at 02:35 PM | Comments (0)

January 18, 2005

Moral Dilemmas

What is worse? To abort a child or to knowingly do hard drugs like chyrstal meth, cocaine, or even large amounts of alcohol that will cause severe physical and psychological ill effects on a baby after birth? If an abortion isn't punishable by law because it isn't a baby, then why aren't these horrible crimes done to the full term "baby" punishable in a court of law? I don't get it.

THIS is what we should be focusing our attention on. THIS leaves us with not only painful newborn deaths, but live babies that are suffering from withdrawals, psychological problems, mental retardation, physical distortions and defects, and physiological problems. I'm not saying that we shouldn't be looking into the safest and most effective laws for abortion, but that this is far too overlooked. Women do it everyday and don't even get so much as a slap on the hand then keep on doing their drugs until they get pregnant and mess up the next child that ends up on our streets and in our mental institutions for the taxpayers to pay for with a pitiful quality of life.

Many would say that we cannot tell a woman what to do with her body when it comes to the abortion issue. Would these same people say that we cannot tell a woman not to do things that she knows will harm a baby she plans to carry to full term? When does the baby or fetus have rights? When it is born and healthy if the mother chose to let it be?

Posted by Barbara at 05:28 PM | Comments (0)

January 15, 2005

Holy Rollers

It's been on my mind lately that my husband said that the people at his church generally reacted with pity when they found out that I was a 'holy roller.' In other words, I go to a Church of God church and believe in their doctrines. He may have been joking but he does refer to my church as the, 'holy rolling, Bible banging, pew jumping church.' However, I find this hard to believe when I have met people from his church and they all seem very nice and were very pleasant to me. I also read in a post by my husband about his church that they believe that everyone should respect each others beliefs or religion whether they embrace it themselves or not. I actually believe that he has been trying to do this with me and trying to respect my religion even though he doesn't embrace it. He has been much nicer about it lately, but I still think that he has a way to go before he actually comes to terms with it.....if he ever does. If he doesn't, I guess that it is understandable, because I will never be able to embrace the fact that he is an atheist. I will continually pray for his deliverance and that he will see the light. However, I will not badger him about it or give him a hard time about going to his church. I will just pray and fast on occasion for his salvation. I hope that we can maintain a great relationship in spite of our differences.

I think most of the pity comes from him pitying himself? :o) Maybe not pity, but embarrassment? That is understandable too...because I feel the same way about him from time to time. When I am talking to fellow Christians and the subject comes up that he is an atheist, I find myself defending him (and I guess, myself) by telling them what a good man he is and how he volunteers his time for charitable things and does things to help others and gets involved with the community as much as he can. Most people think the very worst when they hear the word atheist in the groups of people that I know. Maybe the groups of people that he knows thinks the absolute worst when they hear 'pentacostal', or 'holy roller,' or 'Church of God lady.' Who knows?

All I know is that I have to do what I think is right and feel lead to do and he does too. In the end, maybe our iedas will line up after we have done more searching individually?? Who knows?? Maybe one of us will have a revelation. Maybe we will NEVER agree at all.

Pray for us...if you pray.....jump a pew....or whatever you do. ;O)

Posted by Barbara at 11:18 AM | Comments (0)

August 27, 2004

Happiness or Joy?

The service of the Holy Spirit is that He helps us to distinguish pleasure from happiness and develop real joy. There are many experiences which give us temporary pleasure but do not add up to abiding satisfaction. Their thrills pass quickly, and sometimes leave a trail of regret and remorse. Some of our sense pleasures are like lightening flashes, while true joy is like the sunlight.

Ralph W Stockman D.D.

Posted by Barbara at 09:34 PM | Comments (0)