Dear Dr. Laura,

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind him that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the specific laws and how to best follow them.

a) When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev 1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

b) I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

c) I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev 15:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

d) Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

e) I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

f) A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an Abomination (Lev 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

g) Lev 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

h) Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev 19:27. How should they die?

i) I know from Lev 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

j) My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? (Lev 24:10-16) Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help.

Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Your devoted disciple and adoring fan.

The de rigeur Snopes check reveals little about authorship and accuracy. This may have never been sent to Dr. Laura. However, Barbara Mikkelson sums up the purpose of this particular chain letter quite well:

The key to this essay is its premise, not the pedantic details of it of how it is defended. Simply put, the letter points out a logical flaw in the "homosexuality is wrong because the Bible says so" argument: if homosexuality is wrong because it goes against God's law as outlined in the Bible, why aren't any number of activities now viewed as innocuous but once regarded as unacceptable also offenses against God's law? How can one part of Leviticus be deemed as etched in stone when other parts have been discarded as archaic?

The essay completes with the sarcastic rejoinder, "Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging." While this is presented as a rebuke meant for just one, it is a general reminder that many belief systems pick and choose their way through Biblical teachings in determining what is right and what is wrong, with those assessments changing over time even within sects that pride themselves on strict adherence to the Good Book.

I long for the day when fundamentalist Christians have retired "persecute thy gays" to the same dustbin wherein they have placed "stone thy rebellious teenagers."

If you're bored at work, you could do worse than to send out a copy of this e-mail to make the rounds.

After I began this project, I asked if it could be re-forwarded to me, because I wanted to include it here. One of my friends obliged. Today, I went to look for that second copy that was re-sent to me, and I discovered I had misplaced it again. So I used Google to see if I could find a copy of it posted on the internet. It turns out there are numerous copies out there, but I picked this one to copy the message from, for two reasons.

1) Editor Gary King put his name at the top of a column and filled it with someone else's pseudo-pious words and a one sentence introduction, yet he has a copyright notice at the bottom of the page:

Content copyright © 2001-2005 by Gary King. All rights reserved.
This content was written by Gary King. If you wish to use this content in any manner, you need written permission. Contact Gary King for details.

Paul Harvey says:

"I don't believe in Santa Claus, but I'm not going to sue somebody for singing a Ho-Ho-Ho song in December. I don't agree with Darwin, but I didn't go out and hire a lawyer when my high school teacher taught his theory of evolution.

Life, liberty or your pursuit of happiness will not be endangered because someone says a 30-second prayer before a football game. So what's the big deal? It's not like somebody is up there reading the entire book of Acts. They're just talking to a God they believe in and asking Him to grant safety to the players on the field and the fans going home from the game.

"But it's a Christian prayer," some will argue. Yes, and this is the United States of America, a country founded on Christian principles. According to our very own phone book, Christian churches out number all others better than 200-to-1. So what would you expect--somebody chanting Hare Krishna?

If I went to a football game in Jerusalem, I would expect to hear a Jewish prayer. If I went to a soccer game in Baghdad, I would expect to hear a Muslim prayer. If I went to a ping pong match in China, I would expect to hear someone pray to Buddha. And I wouldn't be offended. It wouldn't bother me one bit. When in Rome....

"But what about the atheists?" is another argument. What about them? Nobody is asking them to be baptized. We're not going to pass the collection plate. Just humor us for 30 seconds. If that's asking too much, bring a Walkman or a pair of ear plugs. Go to the bathroom. Visit the concession stand. Call your lawyer! Unfortunately, one or two will make that call.
One or two will tell thousands what they can and cannot do. I don't think a short prayer at a football game is going to shake the world's foundations.

Christians are sick and tired of turning the other cheek while our courts strip us of all our rights. Our parents and grandparents taught us to pray before eating, to pray before we go to sleep. Our Bible tells us to pray without ceasing. Now a handfull of people and their lawyers are telling us to cease praying. God, help us. And if that last sentence offends you, well.....just sue me!

The silent majority has been silent too long.....it's time we let that one or two who scream loud enough to be heard, that the vast majority don't care what they want. It is time the majority rules! It's time we tell them, you don't have to pray, you don't have to say the Pledge of Allegiance, you don't have to believe in God or attend services that honor Him. That is your right, and we will honor your right....but by golly, you are no longer going to take our rights away....we are fighting back....and we WILL WIN!

God bless one and all, especially those who denounce Him. God bless America. Despite all her faults, she is still the greatest nation of all.

God bless our service men and women who are fighting to protect our right to pray and worship God....

May 2005 be the year the silent majority is heard and we put God back as the foundation of our families and institutions.

Keep looking up......In God WE Trust!

I don't believe in God, but I'm not going to sue anyone for singing Amazing Grace any time of the year. The idea that I might is a myth.

I do, generally, agree with Isaac Newton, but I'll take the government to court if they ask my children to pray to him.

I don't disagree with Darwin any more than I disagree with Einstein, or any other scientist whose theories are supported by scientists because of the evidence, and whose work I only understand at about a high-school level. That would be arrogant and stupid. However, a lot of folks who disagree with Darwin are busy every day of the year trying to find ways to outlaw the teaching of evolution in school, or to mandate the teaching of Christian religous traditions in science class. That's not cool.

Life, liberty, or your pursuit of happiness will not be endangered because someone says a 30-second prayer before a football game. And they are welcome to. There's no law in the books nor decision in the courts that outlaws praying before football. However, my children attend a public school. They are required to attend by the government, and they should be able to attend any school function without being asked to pray by someone acting on behalf of the government. I should not have to let the Government decide what prayers my children will be led in, nor what religion they should be praying to. That doesn't endanger my life, liberty, or pursuit of happiness but it does endanger my first amendment right to religious freedom. And my childrens'.

Of course, if the kids gathering in the stands at this football game wish to say a prayer for the safety of the players, they have every right to. I'm glad they are concerned with the players' safety. And if a group of folks organizes a sandlot football game, they have every right to decide to "officially" open the game with a prayer. And to be honest, I don't care if they do. I'll even referee the game. I trust kids more than I trust the government.

And the government, by the way, is secular. The founding fathers - that mix of people religious and irreligious who framed the constitution and gave us this great country - saw that both freedom and religion suffered when church and state were mixed. They wrote a constituion founded on a lot of principles, including separation of church and state.

Of course, if I go to a professional football game, I don't care if the organizers want to lead the crowd in a prayer - and if I don't like it, I'll stay home. If I do go, I may not close my eyes or pray along, but I'll be quiet and still and respectful until they are finished; whether it's a Baptist prayer in Oklahoma, a Catholic prayer in Boston, an Episcopalian prayer in California, a Jewish prayer in Israel, or a Muslim prayer in Mecca.

Christians do have some special rights. They can sell their religious services at outrageous prices, and yet pay nor collect a penny in taxes. The working calendar is uniquely structured around Christian holidays. And everybody knows that, even though the Constitution guarantees there will be no religious test to hold office in America, an atheist can't even be elected dog catcher here. But really, nobody is working to strip Christians of those special rights. Of course they have some advantages the rest of us lack - but we aren't too worried about that. All we worry about is the attempts of a few of them to turn our teachers into preachers and our goverment into their Vatican. It is they who spread e-mails like the one that I am responding to now, in hopes of deceiving and agitating the Christians in the U.S. and of using their popular majority status to gain political power for their religion. Please don't let that work.

I don't believe in a God, but I join anyone who hopes for Providence to bless the U.S. - but not because we are the greatest nation of all. Simply because we aspire to goodness, and because we need those blessings - especially among our poor. May that same Providence and/or the rest of humanity, forgive us our failings when we miss our mark.

Another eloquent response can be found here, along with this question addressed to Christians: "Would Christ have said ' turn the other cheek until you are sick and tired of doing so' ?" It seems this person found the same screed mis-attributed to yet another individual.

I'd love to see more responses posted to the comments. I'd also like to see more submissions of new chain letters to the project.

We The People Of The United States

This is probably the best e-mail I've seen in a long, long time.
Should be included in the platforms of both candidates!!!!!
The following has been attributed to State Representative Mitchell
Kaye from GA. This guy should run for President one day...

"We the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help
everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid more
riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior, and secure the
blessings of debt free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great-grandchildren,
hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense
guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt ridden, delusional, and
other liberal bed-wetters.

We hold these truths to be self evident: that a whole lot of people
are confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim they require a Bill of
NON-Rights."

ARTICLE I: You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV, or
any other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire
them, but no one is guaranteeing anything.

ARTICLE II: You do not have the right to never be offended. This
country is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone -- not
just you! You may leave the room, turn the channel, express a different
opinion, etc.; but the world is full of idiots, and probably always will be.

ARTICLE III: You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you
stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful, do not expect
the tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives independently
wealthy.

ARTICLE IV: You do not have the right to free food and housing.
Americans are the most charitable people to be found, and will gladly help
anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation
after generation of professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing more
than the creation of another generation of professional couch potatoes.

ARTICLE V: You do not have the right to free health care. That would
be nice, but from the looks of public housing, we're just not interested
in public health care.

ARTICLE VI: You do not have the right to physically harm other people.
If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim, or kill someone, don't be
surprised if the rest of us want to see you fry in the electric chair.

ARTICLE VII: You do not have the right to the possessions of others.
If you rob, cheat, or coerce away the goods or services of other
citizens, don't be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you
away in a place where you still won't have the right to a big screen color TV
or a life of leisure.

ARTICLE VIII: You do not have the right to a job. All of us sure want
you to have a job, and will gladly help you along in hard times, but we
expect you to take advantage of the opportunities of education and
vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful.

ARTICLE IX: You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American
means that you have the right to PURSUE happiness, which by the way,
is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an over abundance of idiotic
laws created by those of you who were confused by the Bill of Rights.

ARTICLE X: This is an English speaking country. We don't care where
you are from, English is our language. Learn it or go back to wherever you
came from!

(lastly....)

ARTICLE XI: You do not have the right to change our country's history
or heritage. This country was founded on the belief in one true God. And
yet, you are given the freedom to believe in any religion, any faith,
or no faith at all; with no fear of persecution. The phrase IN GOD WE
TRUST is part of our heritage and history, and if you are uncomfortable
with it, TOUGH!!!!

If you agree, share this with a friend. No, you don't have to, and
nothing tragic will befall you if you don't. I just think it's about time
common sense is allowed to flourish.
Sensible people of the United States speak out because if you do not,
who will?

Snopes clears up the issue of authorship. I give my own response, below the fold:

Today, I received an e-mail asking for sensible people to speak out on the issue of what rights other people don’t have (scroll to the bottom to see it, but if you are getting this from me, you probably already saw the one I’m talking about). Personally, I have more admiration for the approach taken by the founding fathers – to kind of stay focused on what rights people do have, and on being certain they remain inviolable under the law. But, I can certainly see the value in looking at rights from another perspective… just not the perspective of me telling you what rights you don’t have. See, rights do come with limitations, and those limitations are often responsibilities. If we want to build ourselves up, we would do well to focus a little bit on what responsibilities we have that come with our rights. So here is my proposed Bill of Responsibilities:

Article I: If you live in the United States, you, like me, are almost certainly one of the wealthiest people in the world. There are people wealthier than us, and people less wealthy than us. We should remember, as we try to make ourselves wealthier, that everyone else is trying to do the same. We shouldn’t try to interfere with their efforts, and we should forgive their frustration if they do not make the progress they hope for. We will probably have similar frustrations.

Article II: We have a right to freedom of expression and freedom of religion. While we have a right to these freedoms, the government has a responsibility to abstain from certain kinds of expression, particularly religious expression. We should not try to use the government to promote our own religion. We should remember that in certain times and places, our expressions may be inappropriate and offensive to some. We still have the right to make them, but we should consider whether we have a responsibility to be respectful of others.

Article III: If we make a living by marketing products or services to the public, we have a responsibility to make them reasonably safe to use for their intended function, and to reduce and/or inform consumers of potential hazards from our product or service, if we are aware of them. There are such things as frivolous lawsuits, and even unjust judgments from juries and judges on these lawsuits. The system should be improved, but that doesn’t mean we should be immunized from all responsibility. Unfortunately, we hear a lot more about the relatively few cases of abuse of our judicial system, and very little about its successful use. We shouldn’t take for granted the system that protects us by enforcing those responsibilities.

Article IV: We have a responsibility in this, the most prosperous nation of the world, to be certain that everyone – especially the children - have access to adequate shelter and to adequate and nutritious meal. We should not pat ourselves on the back for our own generosity when we are barely meeting our responsibilities.

Article V: In this, the most prosperous nation of the world, we should take responsibility to be certain that everyone – especially the children – have access to basic health care. It works in Canada, Europe, and even tiny Costa Rica. We cannot call ourselves civilized while we consider a $300 a year tax cut more important than basic medical care for our society’s children.

Article VI: We have a responsibility to keep our justice system just. Revenge may feel good, but justice means making things right. That can mean restoring something that was lost, or preventing future harm, through reforming those who behave unjustly, quarantining from society, and/or deterring them. The death penalty may serve a just purpose, but too often we find ourselves executing innocent people, minors, and the mentally retarded. A humane society has a responsibility to do the deepest kind of soul searching before employing a death penalty.

Article VII: We have a responsibility to keep our incarceration system just. Our prisons may have robbers, cheaters, drug users, and many other people who have wronged themselves are others. We may have to lock them up as part of our effort to reform them and give them an opportunity to re-enter society as good citizens. While doing so, we do have to look after their welfare. We cannot call ourselves civilized while we fail to protect our prisoners from rape or beatings from other prisoners or prison guards. Providing a humane environment for our prisoners may only be the beginning to protecting our society from further violence, but it is a start.

Article VIII: We have a responsibility, as a society, to provide the opportunity to work to every adult who is willing to work. The creation of a large unemployed class in our nation will lead to deterioration of the fabric of society. Only while everyone is working can our society keep itself safe, growing, and happy. Furthermore, every person, no matter what neighborhood they are born in, no matter what their sex, skin color, religion, or sexual orientation should have the same opportunities. Our society is founded on the equality of all individuals. This equality must include educational opportunity as well as later employment opportunity.

Article IX: We have a responsibility to respect the rights of others. If we allow ourselves to believe that the laws and the court decisions that were meant to protect those rights are “stupid and idiotic”, then someone’s right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness is probably going to get trampled.

Article X: We are grown-ups. We have a responsibility to act like it. When we were kids on the playground, and the new kid hadn’t learned our baseball rules yet, we made him leave. As grown-ups, when the new family hasn’t learned our language yet, we may not be able to learn their language or help them learn ours, but there is no need for us to try to scream them off of the playground or out of our neighborhood. If we cannot reach out to them ourselves, we can stand aside like grownups, and allow the many others who are willing and able to reach out to them.

(lastly)

Article XI: We have a responsibility to understand our nation’s history and heritage. That includes the good: the bill of rights, the emancipation proclamation, and every triumph over tyranny and every advance in the quality of our society, but it also includes the bad: the extermination of Native Americans, the trail of tears, slavery, child labor, Vietnam, and many other regrettables. We have a responsibility to leave a history and heritage for our children that include more of the good, and no more of the bad. Part of that history and heritage was our nation’s founding by people of various faiths, including various denominations of Christianity, Deism and some who would today be considered “atheistic”. Part of that heritage is a separation of church and state embodied in numerous ways by our Constitution. And part of that heritage is the later addition of religious slogans to our currency, and (in the days of McCarthyism, to our Pledge of Allegiance). There will continue to be a debate about the wisdom and constitutionality of those changes. That debate is also a part of our history and heritage. Our responsibility is to carry out that debate honestly, rationally, with wisdom, and at least for me, with a large eye toward the Golden Rule.

If you received a copy of the “Bill of Non-Rights”, please consider forwarding this to others who received that e-mail. We build ourselves up by considering our own responsibilities, not by trying to restrict the rights of others.

Subject: Fw: You might be a redneck...seriously

We have enjoyed redneck jokes for years. It's time to take a reflective look at the core beliefs of a culture that values home, family, country and God.

If I had to stand before a dozen terrorists who threaten my life, I'd choose a half dozen or so rednecks to have my back.

I hope I am one of those. If you feel the same, pass this on to your redneck riends. Ya`ll know who ya are...

You might be a redneck if. . .

It never occurred to you to be offended by the phrase, "One nation, under God. . "

You've never protested about seeing the 10 Commandments posted in public places.

You still say "Christmas" instead of "The Holidays."

You bow your head when someone prays.

You stand and place your hand over your heart when they play the National Anthem. Tears may even come to your eyes when the Anthem is done right.

You treat all veterans with great respect, and always have.

You've never burned or shown disrespect for an American flag.

You respect your elders and expect youngsters to do the same.

You see red when another country says we are a greedy, self-serving nation.

If you got this email from me, it's because I believe that you, like me, may have some redneck in you.

Normally, I just delete them. But I have observed that they do have an amplifying effect on the attitudes and ideas that are gaining currency by one avenue or another, and I've always felt that it just isn't right to let them go unanswered. So, I answered this one. And, after I did, I felt such a catharsis from it, that I was inspired to start this project. You will find my answer below the fold. (I've edited it ever so slightly since I clicked "reply all" to the chain letter. Invariably, we always think of something we want to say differently... so this is the mildly edited version)...

Redneck jokes are fun because they are self-deprecatory. Every once in a while, someone – usually a politician – decides that it’s time for his constituency to pat itself on the back for being “better” than his political opposition. I think it’s time to look for ways that we the people: whether rural, urban, or suburban; black, white, or other; Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Buddhist, or secular… can all be “good ole boys… or gals…”

If I had to stand before a dozen terrorists who threatened my life, I’d like to have some good ole boys … or gals… at my back.

I hope I am one of those. If you feel the same, pass this on to others who might have a similar hope. Ya’ll know who you are…

You might be a good ole boy (or gal) if…

It never occurred to you to flaunt your religious viewpoint through government institutions in hopes of offending a political opponent, or promoting your religious views over your neighbors'. As a matter of fact, you don't feel your God needs government help at all.

Whether you say “Christmas” or “the Holidays” is less important than whether you spend it with people you love.

You are respectful of others’ religious practices while you are in their company, even if you disagree with their religious views.

You enjoy the national anthem because you are patriotic. You also don’t bitch about, or try to avoid paying, your fair share of taxes to keep that nation strong. You don’t let sentimentality over the anthem substitute for voting, or for trying to help build a country where everyone is safe, and has equal opportunity, and where we take care of our own the very best we can.

You treat veterans with respect. And firefighters. And police. And teachers. And sanitation workers. And…

You’ve never desecrated the spirit of America: peacefulness, liberty, and equality before the law.

You respect your elders, and you try to teach youngsters to do the same by word and example.

You look for ways that the U.S. can be more generous, and you recognize that our prosperity is worth more the more we use it to make the world a livable place for everyone. You never feel self-satisfied to the point that you are insulted when others feel that the government acting on our behalf is sometimes greedy or self-serving.

If you got this e-mail from me, it isn’t because I think I have a lot of “good ole boy” in me… it’s because I think we all have the potential to.

If you get a copy of the first chain-letter, I hope you will send a reply with a more positive slant back up the chain. Feel free to use mine. If you compose your own, leave it in the comments here...

In order to do the best job of documenting and responding to the numerous chain letter type e-mails that go around, readers are encouraged to submit examples that land in their e-mail box. They may also wish to submit responses they have composed to the letters they find, or new responses to the letters I have posted.

You can be certain that for any e-mail chain letter that I have found and posted with a response, I have already used "reply all" to move it back upstream.

Happy e-mailing!